blondie jokes. . .

. . . for anna:

a blondie was walking down the street, and he stopped to watch some workers build a house.  he was particularly watching one guy, (who was a blondie himself) who was picking up nails, looking at them, then if he deemed them good enough to use, he would hammer them in.  if they weren't satisfactory he would lay them in a pile besides him.  After a while the blondie on the street asked the other blondie "what in the world are you doing?"  "well, you see these nails are made wrong, the heads are pointed towards the wall, i can't use them."  the blondie on the ground shook his head and said "you dummy, those are for the other side!"

a blondie was driving down the street when he looked into a corn field and saw another blondie rowing a boat in the middle.  the blondie pulled over and standing at the fence, yelled at the blondie in the boat, "hey, you're that guy whose been giving the rest of us a bad name!  and if i could swim, i'd get out there and beat you up!"

q: how do you kill a one handed blondie in a tree?  a: wave.

q:how did the blondie die raking leaves?  q: he fell out of the tree.

an old man was driving down the highway, when a blondie in a pink ferrari roared past him.  "how is it that i am a hard working man, and all i have is an old rickety truck, and this blondie has a pink ferrari?"  he managed to make her pull over and then he walked up to her.  "get out," he said.  she did.  then the old man drew a circle in the sand and said "don't leave this circle, or something terrible will happen to you."  then the old man picked up his sledge hammer and beat the blondie's car as hard as he could.  he looked back at her and was surprised to see her giggling.  he then proceeded to beat the poor car even more.  he looked back and now she was laughing.  he got really mad and after pouring gas all over the car, torched it.  when he looked back she was laughing uncontrollably.  "what is so funny?" he asked exasperated.  "i stepped out of the circle three times while you weren't looking."

a blondie, a burnet, and a red-head, were trying to get into their convertible car (they had locked the keys in), when the blondie looks up and says "you'd better get in soon, the hood's down, and it's about to rain."

a blondie, a burnet, and a red-head walked into a store, and the manager said "there's a mirror in the back where, if you say something true, you will win an amazing prize.  but if you say something false, you will be sucked into the mirror and will never be able to get out."  The three went to the back and the burnet said "i think i am the prettiest girl here."  suddenly she had the keys to a brand new sports car.  then the red-head said "i think i am the smartest girl here."  suddenly she had the keys to a brand new mansion.  the blondie stood in front of the mirror and after thinking a bit said "i think---" then she disappeared.

a blondie comes into a store and after looking around a bit, asks a young man working there "sir can you get me that tv?"  "sorry," said the man, "we don't serve blondie's."  she left and dyed her hair red, then she came back and asked the man again for the tv.  "sorry," said the man again, "we don't server blondie's."  puzzled the blondie left and got plastic surgery and totally redid her looks.  then she came back and asked the guy again.  "sorry," he said for the third time, "we don't serve blondie's."  "how do you know i'm a blondie?" she asked frustratedly.  "well for one thing, that's a microwave. . ."

i hope this is in no way offending any blondie. . .
Ky